Relationships .... do you form them?

Recently I was in a class and the topic was about relationships. The class is one designed to build leaders in the church (it is AWESOME!!!) Anyway, the topic was relationships, about how that is how Jesus built the ministry the Father sent Him to build. Jesus formed lasting, strong relationships with people who believed in Him, in His message, in His ministry and those people loved him and became His "support" here on earth (He didnt necessarily need that support but in His humaness he wanted it, I believe he wanted to show us and teach us from those relationships) He sought out men who like Himself would be willing to give up all they were asked for the ministry ,mind you HE, Jesus, gave the ultimate sacrifice, but those men who He brought into His inner circle were men willing to give up their families, their own comfort, their jobs ... well, you get the picture, to follow the Mesiah! This is beginning to look like it could be two posts in one I will try to stay focused ...
The point in all this being He formed relationships with like minded men. Men who were willing to follow His lead while giving all they had to give to the ministry.

The point of the class discussion is do we form relationships with people who also have a similiar ministry vision, who are called to reach the lost however, God has called you (be it to single moms, young girls, young men, addicts who have been freed of addiction, wall street work-aholics ... are you getting the picture here?)

I can honestly with everything in me answer that question with a resounding "NO" and for the past several days now I am trying to get to the root of WHY I don't. Here is my list of excuses .... can you relate with any of them?

1. For as long as I can remember just about every man I cared about in my life has walked out - starting with my father, and ending with an ex-husband and a serious boyfriend. That is difficult to type, very difficult to type but if I am going to be truly transparent here I have to say it. Of coarse that makes me wonder .. what is it about me? The truth of the matter is that I just dont know how to "pick 'em"

2. As a single mom I feel needy so much of the time. The need is multi-level financial, emotional and spiritual. When I feel needy I have a difficult time believing I have anything to give to offer to anyone.

3. I dont want to burden anyone with all my need :)I dont want anyone to feel like they have to respond or supply the answers to everything we need. I hate that feeling the most and that is what keeps me from calling people to ask them over for dinner, or to hangout etc...

4. I think I am weird. It is the artist in me, I see things from a little different perspective than most and well, I think people will think I am weird.

5.I FEAR rejection This goes hand in hand with excuse #1

6. Relationships take work and time! I am not afraid of the work or time however, time is not something I have alot of and honestly I am not a very good steward of my time (yeah, I am trying to work on that too) I dont have one single childhood friend that I have held on to. Really not one! I do have one friend who has managed to stick with me for nearly 20 years now but I have no doubt she has had to work hard to do so. :) You know I love ya SC!

So why do I put all that out here? Accountability I suppose. I don't want to be that way. I want to win the world for Jesus and I know I cannot do that alone. I can think of an area of ministry I believe He has spoken to my heart about and well I am not at all sure how He will bring it together but I KNOW there will have to be others involved and that will require ... YOU GOT IT ... RELATIONSHIPS!

So there I am as see through as glass! How about you ... do you tend to stick to yourself trying to go it mostly alone or if you are great at forming and keeping some relationships why do you think that is? Can you give us some pointers?

Just Enough

So recently my pastor (Pastor Rick from The Refuge) posed the question .... "What is wrong with God giving us just enough? Just enough money to make the bills, just enough gas to get where we need to go, just enough food for our next meal, JUST ENOUGH, not huge amounts, not great abundances at one time, but enough to live, to breathe, to be taken care of ... JUST ENOUGH.

As Americans, living in such a wealthy country we have become accustomed to having more than we need at one time - extra money in the bank, leftovers in the fridge, extravagant dinners out, extra unused bedrooms in our home, we often spend money on unnecessary items and buy more than we need and even more than we are likely to use. We purchase hundreds of dvd's which we will only watch once or twice, toys that our children are likely to only look at one or two times, and cook enough to feed an army.

So I ask what is wrong with having "just enough"? The most memorable lesson of God's daily provision I can think of is found in Exodus 16 where we find the Israelites who were wondering in the desert and God gave them just enough manna for each day. Each new morning they were to go out and collect just enough for their household for that day only and if they got stingy and tried to horde it the manna spoiled and they found maggots in it. The only exception was on the day before the Sabbath, they were to collect enough for both days so they could rest on the Lord's day. Isn't that just like God to teach us a lesson about how to rely on him. I have to say that in the last couple of years God has been working overtime trying to teach me this lesson and only in the last few weeks do I think I am really "getting it". The answer to all my problems has seemed to me to be the blessing of an abundance of money so I could buy a larger house,a more reliable car, great things for my kids, new clothes etc... but the truth of the matter is He has given us "enough"! Our tummies are full when we go to bed every night and most of the time I don't have to worry with leftovers in the fridge, the bills get paid and there is enough gas in the car to get us where we need to go. We have enough beds for everyone to sleep comfortably and toys to help our minds to grow. We have ENOUGH! And as it was true for the Israelites I am sure there are times it appears to me that my supply is running out, like I dont know what we will eat for breakfast in the morning, or have for dinner that night. There are times when that worry creeps back in, but then the morning comes and the ground is covered, the Manna is fresh and just like the day before we have enough to gather for the day. God has over and over, on a daily basis proven himself faithful!

As Miss ZC would say .... Hallelulal! God is sooo very good! HE is ENOUGH!

HEAR YE HEAR YE ...

I have a follower :) Lets not confuse that with stalker but a follower. Look to the right and scroll down a bit you will see the lovely Daphne's pic (a.k.a. flip flops and pearls) she is watching my blog to see if I say anything important. HAHA! Just another fun tool blogger offers to keep up with all your friends/cyberspace buddies. So give it a try! Its as easy as 1.2.3.

Peace and Blessings
sb

They say the funniest things ....

I just have to share what Miss ZC said to me this evening. Today was my birthday ... my 37th birthday. My birthdays have always been a big deal but they were a big deal because I considered them to be my day. The day God gave me. This year I really would have just prefered it slide on by. I can only guess it is because it I am only 3 very short years away from being the big 4-0. At anyrate, I think because I am a single parent my mother tries extra hard to make it nice for me and I really appreciate that she does that. Today she brought us lunch and just visited and on Thursday we will have a family dinner to celebrate with my brother, sil and my youngest sis, mom and dad. (side note we will miss you very much this year my sweet Meghan) Ok, so back to Miss ZC - she was angry because it was bed time and will all she could muster she marched her little self out here, arms across her chest and said (and by the way mommy, our birthday stinks anyway, you didn't have any cake, no cupcakes even and not any balloons either." Bless her little heart, I did make her french toast for breakfast, shouldn't that count for something? hehe. If I was not laughing so hard she would have gotten in a bit of trouble for the attitude, as it were I sent her to bed without even any cake or cupcakes. :) Hope everyone had a beautiful day!
peace and blessings
sb

Important Lessons

This post is sparked by a not so nice comment I received on the blog today. Why is it that people who make ugly comments tend to hide behind “anonymous”. After much investigation I think I have found the commenter and it is just hurtful that she came from a forum I have grown to love because of the support that everyone shows for one another. Oh well. The comment was in relation to the fact that I misspelled righteousness in the name of this blog. I should have known to check the spelling but I got in a hurry and didn't take the time to do it. By the time I realized it it was too late to do anything about it. The commenter said “I hope God teaches your children how to spell the word righteousness correctly” and quite frankly so do I but in the big scheme of things I hope He teaches them so much more first.

*I pray they learn to hear Gods voice while they are still young.
*I pray they learn to obey God, his commands and to walk the path He has for each one of them.
*I pray they learn that charity starts at home.
*I pray they learn to love each other and the people in their lives unconditionally and without hesitation.
*I pray they learn that it is okay to express that love openly and honestly.
*I pray they learn to let down their guard and allow other people into their lives and to share the rea people God has created them to be, their thoughts, hopes, dreams and passions.
*I pray they learn how to learn independently.
*I pray they learn to love reading, for entertainment and educational purposes.
*I pray they learn to see the value of family especially the value in being close to your family
*I pray they learn the truth in the teachings of Jesus – the first shall be last and the last shall be first.
*I pray they learn the value of being a servant to their fellow man and that include
theirsiblings.
*I pray they learn to live life to its fullest and with no regrets.
*I pray they learn to step out of the crowd, to be leaders in their community and to make changes for the better of all even if it means giving up something they want.
*I pray they learn their own value in God, in the death of Christ and not in the worlds standards.

While I pray they learn soooo many important things, learning how to spell righteousness is not first on my list. It is honestly one of my most common spelling mistakes, no matter how many times I have made the mistake I just keep on making it over and over .... ugh .... However, I must say being an awful speller has not held me back in life. I earned a masters degree in speech language pathology and have managed to keep a multitude of other things going. My son could read the bible before he entered kindergarten and those were not memorized passages. In fact all of my children are very bright. Sometimes I get caught up in wondering if I am “good enough” to teach them and to that I say probably not but there is no one on this earth who could care more about their education then I. Thank you snippy poster for helping me to remember those lessons which are most important.

Peace and Blessings to you all.
sb

Blessed but not crushed

persecuted not abandoned,struck down but not destroyed, I am blessed beyond the curse for His promise will endure and His joy will be my strength .... I wish I knew who wrote that song so I could credit them here. It is a praise and worship song and it often reminds me that though the enemy (satan) prowls around like a roaring lion, I am not his to take down! Trial will come as they may, they will serve to make me stronger, build me up, and strengthen my confidence in my Creator each time He delivers me from the enemy's snare but I will never be destroyed, never crushed ... ALWAYS BLESSED!

So I am still sick. I have confidence that this will only last for a season. It will not last forever, but for a season and through it God will teach me and show me more and more about His grace (unmerited favor), about His deliverance and about His mercy. I am His and He hides me in the shadow of the cleft. Thank you God!

So sorry I was not able to give reference to some of the quotes, the song a little bit of scripture. I will try to remember to look them up tomorrow.

Peace and Blessings,
sb

single parenting

solo parenting, doing it alone, being mom and dad, bringing up children without one parent present, balancing it all, the only breadwinner, booboo kisser, chauffeur, teacher, financial analyzer, disciplinarian, life guide, maintenance ummm "person", laundry lady, menu planner, nurse, ... oh I suppose the list could go on and on and sometimes as a single parent it feels just that overwhelming. Add everything I have to be to my responsibilities outside our home, church member, involved in ministry, small business owner, friend, daughter and well it all just multiplies.

I have been pretty sick for 2 days now, it started with a cough, tight in my chest and then yesterday turned into a fever. I thought it was over when the fever broke last night but low and behold my temp went back up today so as I type this I am in the bed going from hot to cold to hot again. UGH... I hate being sick!

Being a overwhelming responsibilities if being a single parent hits me the hard when I am ill, when I feel like I can't physically do it all. When my body aches, and my head hurts, when my eyes are running and despite the fact that it is 75 degrees inside I have to wear a jacket and socks and my teeth still chatter. When my kiddos are wanting to be fed or they are expected to be somewhere and I feel like I cannot lift my head from the pillow. God uses all kinds of circumstances to teach us lessons. In those moments I feel alone, as if I am hiking uphill carrying a huge knapsack alone, no one to help distribute the weight between. Jeremiah 17:9 says "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.Who can understand it?" My heart often tells me I am alone, I am by myself with no one to call on, no one to count on and what God is trying so hard to teach me is that is not true. For instance last night, help was just a text message away, my mother brought me meds and made sure my kids had dinner and that the older ones were taking care of Miss ZC. She did all this despite the fact that she herself has not been feeling well either. A church friend who lives close by also wanted to know what she could do to help. Yes there are things that only I can do for my children, and at times those decisions seem insurmountable but when I step back and allow my friends and family to step in and lend me a hand with the smaller things the knapsack is a little lighter.



Suggestions for finding people willing to make you Knapsack a little lighter on your single parenting travels:
1.Find a church family that will embrace you and your children.
Of coarse the most important aspect of a church is that it is grounded in the word of God, that it is teaching and disciplining it's members, and that it is reaching out beyond its own walls to draw people in to the Kingdom but one of the benefits in being involved with people who love God is that generally speaking people who love God want to serve God and His children. They are often willing to help with rides, a little babysitting from time to time and some general maintenance and upkeep.

2. local single parent support groups. You can look online and in the newspaper for local groups of interest. Sometimes it is helpful to get together with others who understand your own life. Unfortunately many times groups like this turn into "gripe sessions" and though occasionally we all need to get some stuff off our chest groups that only focus on the problems instead of how we can bond together and help one another only make you focus on the "bad" stuff instead of all your blessings
3. family and friends - never underestimate the willingness of your family and friends already in your life to help you out. To help make things easier on you talk to them asking them about their willingness to help out in certain situations on certain days of the week, or a set number of hours a week. You may be surprised.

So where do you find your support? Who do you know you could call to ask to lend an extra set of hands?So let me hear from you, any single moms out there who need and extra hand? Any other suggestions?